"EMOTIONAL ABUSE" in relationships
Today I want to talk with you, About the five signs of emotional abuse.
So like I said, Today
I want to talk with you about emotional abuse. This was a topic that I really
wanted to dive deeper into. And the thing about emotional abuse. That I think
is important to note. Is the fact that it's really elusive. It can happen for a
long period of time. Without us even knowing it's going on. And it can damage
us. Sometimes, and some therapists and researchers believe. That it can be more
damaging than Actual physical abuse. Because it can undermine what we really
think about ourselves. How we feel about ourselves. Our whole belief about who
we are, and what we're going to do with our lives. And so it can leave these
wounds. For years. Without us sometimes even recognizing that they are there.
1.The first sign or symptom of emotional abuse is: Are they
degrading you? Ask yourself that question. Like I said, often times we don't
notice these things are happening. The way to know if this is happening. Is,
are they putting you down in front of others? Do they use sarcasm as a way to
hurt you? And then when you speak up and say, 'Hey, that really hurt' They tell
you that you are being too sensitive. Do they make jokes at your expense? Do
they ever negate how you feel? Like when you tell them that certain things have
made you feel a certain way. They tell you that you are completely wrong or off
base. Because each of these little things that can happen. Add up to a really
poor confidence. It can really eat away at how we feel about ourselves. And our
confidence when we walk into a room. Because we are being put down in front of
people all the time. And humiliated.
2.The second sign or symptom of emotional abuse is: When
someone is dominating or controlling your life. Now to that end. I don't mean
someone who is just 'controlling'. I mean someone who belittles you. Who treats
you like a child. Who may even control your spending. And they will, when you
tell them about plans that you have. And aspirations. They put them down. And
make them seem so stupid and small. And they act like they are just superior to
you. And everything that you do. Is something that they have control over. You
often feel. Sometimes I have patients who have told me, That after time they
even struggled to make very small decisions without calling that person. Or
getting a hold of that person. Because they've been under their control for so
long. They can forget how to even think for themselves.
3.The third sign or symptom of emotional abuse is: Accusing
and blaming. Does the person in your life, Struggle to laugh at themselves? They
never apologize. That would be ridiculous to ask them to do so. Often these
people will blame all of their problems onto other people. They are never to
blame. Never. They have no short comings. And they tend to highlight your short
comings. And make you apologize when you've done nothing wrong. These people
just tend to feel that they do everything best. And if anybody questions that, or
puts them down. Or says anything criticizing to them. They freak out. They
completely lose it.
4. The fourth sign or symptom of emotional abuse is: Neglect.
We all know these people. They give us the cold shoulder. They stone wall us. They
give us the 'silent treatment' when we have done something bad. Or we might not
even know what we have done wrong. And that is most often the case when it's
emotional abuse. And I find this to be most common, In parent child
relationships. Where the parent will ice out the kid. They will not meet their
needs. Basic needs. They will stay in a locked bedroom in the back. They won’t
come out. They will withhold affection or attention. Or sometimes I've even had
parents say They are going to show up for a play or something. And they don't. Because
they have done something wrong. And so this is how they manage it. And know
that this is not a normal type of punishment. This isn't an okay way to treat a
child. This isn't a way to parent. This is emotional abuse.
Credits : JVB ART
5. The fifth sign or symptom of emotional abuse is: Enmeshment
or codependence. Now the way to know that is happening. Is when someone doesn't
treat you like a whole other person. They treat you as an extension of
themselves. They may make choices for you. They may make choices for you as a
whole cohesive group. They may share information with you, that is completely
going through boundaries that you've set up. And it can be really difficult to
take. Also this person tends to not take into consideration what you want or
need. They'll say, 'I'm doing what's best for you'. Now I know parents will do
that sometimes. And I don't want this to be confused with parents saying, 'I'm
not going to buy you that Rs 1000 pair of shoes. ''Because I know what's best
for you. You're going to be fine with this Rs 500 pair of shoes. 'That's not
what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is you actually have needs or
wants. Like, 'I really would like to take this class. 'Or, 'It's really
important for me, that I go to this university. 'Or see this friend. And they
are like, No no. I know what's best for you and you are going to hang out with
me all day. We're going to do things together, all day long. And these people
have no boundaries for like a parent child relationship. Or a friend to friend
relationship. They tend to not see any separation. They treat you as if you're
them. And you are one. And it can be really unhealthy. And really difficult for
us to get out of these relationships. Because it's so palpable. They're
everywhere. They are in all of our business. And these people can even share
our business with other people. Because they feel it's okay. Without going
through us and making sure we're okay with it. They can share personal
information with others because, you know, We're the same. So I figured since I
thought it was okay, you'd think it's okay. Right. So there is no division.
Now I hope this helps clear it up. I tried to break this down into sections, Because emotional abuse is this huge vast bucket of things that can happen to us. And if you are worried. Or you think that this has happened to you. The most important thing you can do, if you are under 18. Is speak up about it. Because emotional abuse is not something that you have to tolerate. And it's something that is reportable. Someone who is closer to you who can help you is a mandated reporter for things like this. Because, especially under the neglect. And the blaming and the shaming. And the enmeshment. The unhealthy relationships that parents can have with their children. Can be detrimental to us in the future. So the sooner you speak up and get support, the better. Now if you are a survivor of this. I hope that you are seeking therapy. And you are getting your own support for this. Because we can overcome it. This doesn't define who we are. Because this has happened to us. That doesn't mean that our whole world is sucked into it. And that we'll do this to other people. Or we'll only be in abusive relationships. We can get through it. The more we talk about it. The more honest we are about it. And talking about the details. And how hurtful things were for us. The faster we will overcome it. I hope that you found this helpful. I put out blog 2 days a week. And you don't want to miss them. Right? And as always. Leave your comments below. Let me know what you liked, didn't like. Things that you want me to talk about more. And if you like this blog, give it a comment. And wherever you are on the internet. You can find me on (https://dinfotainment.blogspot.com/). So make sure you follow us on twitter, instagram . Whatever. Wherever you need us, I'm there. I'll see you next time.
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Nice blog
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